(Ended) My Liberation Post
11/10/2023
🙂
10/10/2023
Deleted
09/10/2023
08/10/2023
Deleted. Aneh banget deh kalo nulis antara sadar dan gak sadar😦
08/10/2023
Deleted
05/10/2023
Deleted
04/10/2023
How could I miss someone I never met????😭
01/10/2023
Kalo hormon mendadak bikin gw jadi mellow gini artinya bentar lagi bakal menstruasi. Lagi ga mau mellow, ga mau gila dan ga mau nulis macem-macem di sini tapi gimana 🥺 tiba-tiba lewat ini di instagram aja langsung berurai air mata.
"There is no way the things I asked for and the things I used to pray for would exist in human form, except that you're here"
ya Allah I pray for this kind of pure love 😭https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cv_t6lbpE4G/?igshid=MWZjMTM2ODFkZg==
28/09/2023
Ya Allah udah lama banget ga hujan di Jakarta dan sekitarnya hiks. Wish you could find the joy in the rain as much as I do🌧
27/09/2023
Daftar masakan mama yg harus dipelajari alias memenuhi kriteria diet seumur hidup q, makanan buatan mamaku ini less oil dibandingkan bikinan org lain pada umumnya 🥰
- Rawon
- pepes ikan/ayam/tahu/jamur
- semur daging
- bubur
- sup ayam
- soto kuning
- nasi nusantara (uduk/kuning) dan timur tengah
- sayur labu/sayur ketupat
- sayur kangkung dan bayam
- bistik!!!
- dimsum!!
- ayam kampung ungkep
- ayam bakar kemiri
- ... ditambahin kapan2 kalo inget
26/09/2023
Happy alhamdulillah hari ini! Bisa pulang tepat waktu lagi akhirnyaa. Oh ya mau cerita, residen (yg koordinasi sm aku) kalo dari USU tuh selalu baik baikk banget. Sopan, nurut, ramah, baik puolll. Tp yg kali ini lebih super baik. Perpisahan tadi sm 2 cewe itu tuh sedih banget, kita sempet cerita2 walaupun cuma setengah jam tapi seruu. Mereka bawain aku pastry yg enak 1 box yeayy (aku bagi ke temen2 juga kokz) Mereka duluan yg nanya instagram, ngajak foto juga, sampe berkali2 bilang "Mba Malika kapan ke Medan, kalo ke Medan kasitau ya kita bawa jalan2 dan makan"/"nanti nginep di rumahku aja ya kalo ke Medan, kan abang2ku udah gak tinggal di rumah"/"aku 2 minggu lagi kayanya ke JKT, nanti kita main yaa Mba"/"Mba beneran loh ke Medan ya janji yaa"/"kalau cuti liburan ke Medan ya Mba"/"datanglah Mba ke nikahanku bulan 8 taun depan, banyak makanan India nanti, suka gak?" dlsb. Gw ga tau kalo orang Medan ngomong kaya gt tuh basa basi aja apa engga sih, karena kalo orang Jawa tuh seringnya basa basi.
Sampai jumpa lagi dokter-dokter cantik :')
24/09/2023
About the first dream of TMOMD in December that I wrote a few days ago;
We were at my family gathering event in a huge house, almost like a castle. You were there as my friend. Then I left you for a while to mingle with the aunties. When I came back, you were gone. Then I thought, "Oh, maybe you are upstairs, watching TV or playing games," but no, you were not. You were not everywhere. I asked everyone, and I opened every door on every floor, but nowhere could I find you. I went up and down the stairs repeatedly. I kept looking until my feet were sore, then I gave up. As I went downstair from the rooftop, I saw you going up towards me, and then I cried. I cried because I was tired, and I cried because I finally found you. As I sobbed, you hugged me tightly until my sadness and fears melted away.
That was the point when I keep being questioned and call myself crazy. Why on earth did I suddenly dream about you with a beautiful ending, when in reality, you pushed me away a thousand times?
23/09/2023
Hari Sabtu yang cerah, ceria dan agak sejuk ini harus ke kantor dengan lesu dan lunglai hehehe tapi cuma 2 jam aja terus pulang deh. Alhamdulillah beres juga urusan, bersyukur banget temen-temen kerjaku pintar-pintar dan punya cara berpikir yang sama. Karena kita satu almameter dan 1 jurusan sih :') huekekek. Pulang-pulang ternyata ada saudara2 jauhnya papa (hehe gw ga kenal/ga hafal) yg ketemu langsung bilang "eh neng geulis Masya Allah, tos boga calon teu acan?" gw jawab sambil ketawa2 aja "teu acan hihi" gw ga pernah baper sih kalo ditanya kaya gitu; biasa aja. Kan di twitter suka rame tuh kalo pertanyaan-pertanyaan kaya gitu dianggap toxic. Padahal kan itu pertanyaan basa basi aja, tinggal dijawab dengan jawaban andalan yg basi juga wkwk. Terus tadi lagi ngobrol di meja makan sama papa dan adik kita mau kondangan ke Surabaya naik apa. Jadi mikir... Papaku tuh dari dulu sampai hari ini selalu jadi perwakilan keluarga di acara nikahan SIAPAPUN. Kalau keluarga besar, udah pasti. Mau mau silsilahnya jauuh, tinggalnya jauh, pasti minta papa jadi "wakil". Tapii selain keluarga seperti tetangga, orang gak dikenal, saudaranya tetangga, temen-temen ngaji mama, temen-temen bapake, itu sering banget minta papa jadi "wakil" keluarga. Pokoknya dari berbagai kalangan deh, dari mulai anak guru besar sampai anak ART. Agak aneh? emang wkwk. Bukan cuma wakil keluarga pas acara nikahnya aja, tapi lamaran juga. Kalo baca tausiyah/doa di acara nikah masih oke lah, tapi kenapa yg bukan keluarga juga minta papa jd wakilnya wkwk. Gw ga habis pikir. Anyway gada tarifnya cuma keikhlasan aja. Tugas wakil tuh speech aja sih dan memperkenalkan keluarga, kan harusnya semua orang bisa ga sih? terus agak mellow aja, berharap papa juga semoga sempet lihat aku nanti. Engga.... aku ga ter-pressure dan gak ada yg pernah menekan atau nanyain atau menyindir hal-hal semacam ini lagi juga. Just random thoughts hihi.
I have nothing to say about TMOMD tonight, thanks for waking me up from this delulu mode by saying "things don't always happen as you wish" don't you know that I'm strongly aware and literally living with that phrase? emang aku pernah memaksakan apa? 😦
22/09/2023
Huaaaa capek banget tp gak stres sih kali ini banyak yg perlu lebih disyukuri.
Hi TMOMD, thank you for coming into my life even though you are still a stranger. It's almost a year, wow!
Anw, have I ever told you what exactly was happening before I said a good-bye text after our first two months of our interaction? It was because of a dream. I still remember every bit of it. But before that, actually, at the first two months, I didn't accept my feelings because you pulled me a lot of times and I felt rejected. You were braggy back, and I thought, "It's enough." Then one night I had that dream... to be continued. I'm too sleepy right now. Night and sleep tight!
20/09/2023
Alhamdulillah hari ini sesi treatment PRP terskhir :') minggu depan aku lengkapin deg review beserta foto-fotonya.
Dear TMOMD, although you are far far away, and not aware of my thoughts or my feelings, I deeply thank you for keep being there, and for being kinder each and everyday. I wish you my best wishes for your safety and joyful days. Nighty night!
18/09/2023
Alhamdulillah ya Allah walaupun aku capek dan muak banged sama kerjaan, aku masi bs pulang ke rumah ketemu mama papa, punya kamar yg nyaman (tiduran dg badan yg lumayan remuk jadi berasa nikmat bgt), mbak yg helpful dan baik bgt (maaf ya mbak pagi ini aku ga sempet beresin kamar 😭 teler bgt hari minggu kemarin seharian kerja😭), kucing yg lucu2 dan masih bisa cerita-cerita sama the man of my dreams (TMoMD) we talked abt disney princess LoL.
Rasanya ada yg kurang kl sblm tidur ga nulis diary abal2 dan ga ngucapin "Nighty night TMoMD!"
16/09/2023
Sometimes in my mind, I play the role of someone who is loved. Like right now, the person that I adore is supporting and caring for me. I know it's delusional, but I found strength in thinking of him. Night!
15/09/2023 21.30
Minggu ini tuh capek banget. Minggu depan juga. Kaya ga punya libur :') capeek banget😭 Kalau secapek ini, lebih penting punya waktu sendiri alias pulang ke bogor aja malam ini biar bisa me-time daripada ambil jatah akomodasi :')
15/09/2023
One day at some point, I wish myself to give up on you. I wish I had that kind of self-respect to step back rather than keeping someone who didn't want me for so long. One day.
13/09/2023 21.30 PM
Even on my busiest days, after everything I had to deal with today, at the end of the day, it's always been you. The one that I look for. In my imagination, I'd wish you "good night.
wish I get your kind reply as I wake up tomorrow.
13/09/2023
If only u knew that I've been fighting every urge to tell you about myself (from what I've been through to what I dreamed of) and also to learn about yours. Do u know how hard is that for me 😭 I want to know literally everything about u! From things you like to do to what you ate today, what makes you smile today? How was the weather there? How were your papers? How is your family? What are you up to this weekend? What kind of life do you want to live? Everything. Can I? Can I see your true colors?
11/09/2023
Yes, life becomes mundane for me. Although it is a blessing to wake up every morning, a sense of boredom takes over whenever I'm getting into a monotonous cycle from morning to night and going on and on. Here are some things I find enjoyable in my mundane daily routine:
- taking the stairs instead of the lift from the ground floor to the 10th floor. I try to build it into my routine. Not that tiring, actually.
- when getting some compliments. I'm a word of affirmation girl, so compliments can mean a lot to me xixixi. The latest compliment (today) comes from two female temporary doctor residents from USU. They said, "aku kira pertama kali liat Mbak Malika itu supervisor atau apa, cantik kali ya (jgn muntah pls).
- When I don't have to wait even a second for my bus or train to arrive.
- When the problematic senior takes a day off
- When I pet my cat (her name is Prinsas or Incas),
- When I'm home and my parents are sitting in the dining room
- when I eat veggies and fruits
- when I wash off my face and make myself prepare for a good night's sleep (sometimes I spray perfume too).
- When I'm able to perform tahajjud
- when I can make myself study even for a couple of minutes.
- when I wake up to a little butterfly notification icon on my phone.
I hope the list goes on, but I'm working for and praying that someday I have a better, more beautiful, and more amazing life.
10/09/2023
I think I need to remind myself that everything happened for a reason and to accept my feelings as they are. It feels liberating to finally be able to say, "It's okay; you've done your best and you are under God's control."
10/09/2023
02.45 tiba-tiba kebangun dan mikir
"Can I put my self respect and my dignity above my attraction to him? Why did I like someone who doesn't want me that bad and hates me that much? What's wrong with me?"
09/09/2023
Hari ini full day ketemu temen-temen kuliah edisi geng epid. Seneng, seneng banget.
Sebenernya nulis ini gw udah ngantuk banget, tapi jujur ada hal yg hmm bikin gw apa yaa, bukan sedih, bukan overthinking juga... pokoknya ada yg mengganjal dan harus gw ungkapkan. Sebenernya untungnya bagi gw nulis kaya gini adalah: gw jadi bisa nahan diri untuk gak cerita ke orang lain ataupun sosmed lain (misal: twitter atau second ig).
Jadi tadi kita masih ber-6, sisanya belum dateng (masih di jalan), dan kebetulan kita ber-6 tuh sama-sama single, terus topik awal yg diomongin adalah romance *sigh* hahaha. Gw tuh pasti selalu yg ditodong untuk cerita duluan dan gw selalu bilang "gak ada, ga ada update, gini2 aja" emg beneran ga ada gt loh 😂 tp ya mereka ttp ga percaya dan seyakin itu gw lg deket sm org/udh dijodoh2in, sampe akhirnya gw nyerah dan bilang "aduh beneran deh sumpah, kalo ada pasti gw cerita, tp beneran gw lagi engga mau sama siapa2 juga" trs kata mereka "kok gitu sih Mal? Kenapa? Lu lagi ga membuka diri?" Gw merasa keceplosan "bukan gitu... gw lagi suka sama orang sih, tapi belum pasti" shok lah mereka "kok bisa? Emang sesuka itu?" Daripada gw keburu bocor gw bilang aja "aduh ntar deh, gw cm bisa cerita kalo udah pasti aja, skrg cm halusinasi gw doang" sampai akhirnya mereka menyerah introgasi 😂 kemudian bergilir lah yg lain juga cerita.... setelah mereka selesai cerita dan kita diskusi jg, energi gw kaya shifted gt krn sebenernya gw lagi memproses apa yang temen2 gw bicarakan.
Kesimpulan dari cerita-cerita mereka:
1. sebenernya gw salut sih, mereka tuh workaholic banget (jauh lah sama gw) tapi mereka masih mengkhawatirkan keadaan mereka yg "single", atau at least mereka ada usaha dan mau membuka diri. Sementara gw ada di fase yang ga khawatir (terbalik, gw udah khawatir 2-3 tahun lalu). Dan ketidakkhawatiran ini yg justru membuat gw cemas 🙂
2. Kesamaan dari kami ber-6 juga sama-sama anak pertama. Jadi gw paham waktu mereka cerita gimana mereka membuka diri, dan tetap pasang boundaries supaya gak jatuh2 banget, betapa hati-hati menjaga diri mereka supaya tetap rasional karena laki2 yg mendekat sm mereka sejauh ini ga punya komitmen/tujuan jelas gitu.
3. Gw merasa laki2 yang mereka ceritain itu antara effort dan intentionnya berbalik. Effortnya oke, intensinya ga jelas. Dan mereka sadar akan hal itu. Untuk yg 1 ini gw gak pernah ngerasain. Pengalaman gw, effort selalu berbanding lurus dengan intensi, contoh org yg dulu; intensinya tegas dan lugas kalau mau serius sama gw, dengan effort yang gak main-main. Begitu pun dengan The Man of My Dreams (wkwk) intensinya emang ga mau ada apa2, dan actionnya pun sesuai bgt, jadi ga ada alasan gw untuk baper sebenernya.
Udah ngantuk banget, ga sanggup ngetik lagi. Huft besok mau belajar 🥲
Ok gw tau ga seharusnya gw nulis hal ini terus tapi biarin aja ya namanya juga trash bin🥲
08/09/2023
Tired looking-bare face-no make up-no filters-no effects-super sleepy red eyes-blood clots-bruising after prp injection last sunday-purging due to epitelitation selfie that I took a minute before going to sleep.
(Pic deleted) disgusting jg haha nanti aja kalo udah ada foto ketika kembali normal ni kulit ;(
Semoga bulan depan udah engga memar-memar kek gini hikz miss my clear skin 😩😩
Menurutku sejauh ini... untuk kulit yg sebenernya gak bermasalah dan belum keriput, prp sangat gak worth the pain dan gak worth the down time :( tapi kalo untuk rambut... alhamdulillah progressnya bagus *terharu*
ngantuk banget bye mau tidur! Btw semacam therapeutic jg ya bagi q punya diary rahasia disini 🥹
07/09/2023
I have Sooo many things to write about but at the and of the day, all I want to say is "good night dear the man of my dreams" I need to go to sleep early bcs work stuffs has drained me so bad :( let me tell u one of my fav thing abt waking up: the appearance of the pinky butterfly icon on my phone xixixi
Kalo sampe ybs tau gw nulis kaya gini kayanya gw bakal diblokir :)
Astagfirullah sadarr. Ok Bye!!!
06/09/2023
In my dreams, you were very grateful that we found each other, yet in reality, you called me worse than a ghost. It's funny isn't it? Let's meet up in dreams then. Good night!
05/09/2023
Hari Minggu pagi gw nonton Matilda the Musical (di netflix), ada lagu yg judulnya "Naughty", liriknya bikin terngiang-ngiang, dan ternyata lagu ini jadi soundtrack hidupku pekan ini.
'Cause if you're little, you can do a lot, you
Mustn't let a little thing like 'little' stop you
If you sit around and let them get on top, you
Won't change a thing. Just because you find that life's not fair, it. Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. If you always take it on the chin and wear it. You might as well be saying you think that it's OK. And that's not right. And if it's not right, you have to put it right. But nobody else is gonna put it right for me. Nobody but me is gonna change my story. Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty'
Yth senior aneh, gw ga ngerti knp bs ada orang se-setan dan se-sirik :') tapi gimana ya, yg sayang dan lebih kenal sama gw lebih banyak tuh, jd lo ga bisa bikin gw down berkepanjangan, krn semua orang tau lo setan dan ga waras.
Tapi di titik ini tuh menyadarkan bbrp hal;
1. Don't take people for granted. Bener-bener bersyukur dengan kehadiran orang-orang yg Allah kasih di hidupku. Kaya... hiks gw sampe terharu. Sehari setelah kejadian menyebalkan itu, pagi2nya gw dan temen2 ga mau ngomongin kejadian kemarin dan ketawa-ketawa aja biasa, terus temen2 dari ruangan lain dateng bawa banyak makanan dan banyak eskrim. Trs gw bilang "jangan sentuh2 yaa, jangan ngomong apa2, lagi gabisa nih, gausah deket2, jangan peluk2 dulu" bahkan bilang makasih aja gw blm sanggup wkwk. Terus semuanya nangis tanpa ngomong dan saling ngejauh tapi sambil ketawa2 soalnya kita aneh. Dan sobi2 q yang ga perlu aku chat panjang lebar tp udah ngerti dan memberiku ketenangan dg caranya masing2 :')
2. Temen2 yang baik, pengalaman hidup yg baik, pernah ketemu orang-orang baik, dibesarkan di lingkungan yg baik itu membantu menyadari gw punya value loh yg selain hrs disyukuri, hrs dijadikin motivasi untuk selalu bangkit :') bahkan gw masih inget kata-kata ketua project/ibu-ibu di tempat kerja sebelumnya (hehe ga usah ditulis ya ini pujiannya setinggi langit, cukup aku ingat dlm hati). Jadi kalo orang-orang lain/temen-temen gw aja percaya dan menghargai gw, kenapa gw sendiri ga bisa percaya sama kemampuan gw?
3. Ini adalah pecutan untuk segera menata hidupku lebih baik lagi, walaupun semua rezeki dan kesempatan itu datangnya dari Allah, aku harus tetap berusaha sekuat tenaga :')
04/09/2023
I really had a bad day, cried on the way home. Ya Allah i can't thank u enough for how amazing parents and friends U sent me.
Ya Allah, I turn to U seeking help and guidance in every step of my way, to the better and peaceful life.
02/09/2023
Ini gak pura-pura sama sekali, tapi gw beneran seneng liat akhirnya org tsb (kita sebut saja si living green flag) ketemu jodohnya. Ga terasa gw senyum-senyum liat acara nikahannya yg sangat totalitas itu dari ig stories ponakan-ponakan gw. Gw merasa Allah baik banget ngasih intuisi untuk ga buru-buru ngambil keputusan, untuk ngasih waktu mengenal diri dan hidup sendiri, dan ngasih tau kalo manusia itu punya perasaan. Allah jg nunjukin kalau feeling of connection, perasaan "you know when you know" itu harus ada dan ga perlu dipaksakan untuk ada kalo emang ga ada.
Knp bersyukur? Karena kalo flashback, keputusan dua tahun lalu kontrolnya bener-bener ada di gw. Sifat keras kepala ini kayanya juga suatu kelebihan dari Allah; kalo gw lembek kayanya akan beda cerita deh.
Tapi ada keajaiban juga yg baru gw sadari, waktu itu udah bbrp bulan setelah lulus dan lama ga kontak sama wirda dan ulfa lagi, suatu malam mereka ngajak group call, nanya kabar (bingung kan krn gw ga pernah cerita2 lagi) akhirnya gw ceritain kalo waktu itu, the living green flag dateng lagi dengan effort dan keseriusan yg lebih besar dari 2 tahun lalu. Mereka nanya "perasaan lu gimana?" Gw jawab "bingung. Gw bingung aja harus gimana, bener2 gak tau" trs wirda dengan entengnya bilang "Mal, ikutin perasaan lo deh, gw yakin harta dan kekayaan bukan segalanya buat lo" terus kita ketawa-tawa dan tiba2 Ulfa bilang "Mal mal, dengerin deh lagunya pas banget sumpah" Iya, tiba-tiba playlist random spotify di laptop yg gw setel dengan volume agak kencang (supaya ga ada yg nguping percakapan gw sama temen2 hehe) memainkan lagu (yg gw gatau sebelumnya) ini: I don't love you by Urban Zakapa. Kemudian kita bertiga diam sejenak sampe Ulfa bilang "nah bener tuh. Pertanda". Hehe ya emang kebetulan juga sih...
Ah, pokonya Alhamdulillah aku bersyukur banget atas diriku hari ini, atas kebahagiaan orang lain dan atas takdir Allah apapun itu.
Alhamdulillah Allah juga kasih kesempatan mengenal diri sendiri tntg gimana gw menghadapi perasaan dan menununjukkan kalau ternyata I'm capable of loving (more on my previous post: about love part 1) jadi aku sangat bersyukur juga dengan kehadiran the man of my dreams itu... walaupun cuma sekadar unrequited feelings.
Semoga suatu hari Allah juga kasih kesempatan gimana rasanya to be chosen by someone you choose, hehehe. Byeee!
28/08/2023
This morning, I spent some time looking in the mirror. Hey! I don't see a miserable girl in there; I feel stunning. I've always taken very good care of my mental, physical, emotional wellness, beauty and even fashion. I eat healthily, walk frequently, have love inside and around me, and am intelligent, capable, and confident. I am adorable because I am kind, compassionate, and empathic. I am brave, I can stand up for myself, I can enjoy my own company, I can protect myself and people I love. Let me say this once again "I am not pathetic :)"
27/08/2023
1. He told me that I literally am, still only one of the four girls (could be more) he's been trying to get to know. Maybe I am the least one *laugh*
2. He never asked me what I wanted for the interaction to work for us (in order to get to know each other better). I mean, he did ask once or twice, but only to make sure that I was willing to follow his way; if not, then he'd just end this thing. It is fair, actually. But it is also obvious that I mean less than nothing. On the other hand, I sadly was unable to express my thoughts, wants, or feelings without worrying that he might ask me to leave. Come on, Malika, it's not only slaps in the face, it's a punch in the face.
3. He enjoys bringing out or even focusing on my flaws, making fun of them, and wishing bad, despite the fact that he is the person I most adore, the one who opened my heart, and for whom I hope nothing but the best, happiness, and peace this world can give. I'm pathetic, am I? *sigh*
4. He blocked me on one of my accounts. What have i done wrong...?
25/08/2023
Tadi sore pulang kerja ke salah satu klinik di Jaksel untuk PRP hair treatment pertama kali. Pengen bikin post tersendiri yg lebih edukatif mungkin tntg ini, tp ntar dulu deh, gw masih kesakitan. Gak nyangka PRP sesakit itu. 1000/10 menurut gw yg pain tolerance-nya cukup tinggi. Bersyukurnya tindakan gw dikerjain sm dokter bedah plastik (bukan sekedar dokter estetik). Knp gw sampe PRP, pdhl pake kerudung dan sebenernya ga terlalu keliatan krn ketutup rambut lain? Krn gw sedih aja mengalami alopecia areata ini tanpa sadar (baru 2 taun ini mungkin sadarnya)😭 dan krn bagian tubuh gw yg paling gw suka sejak kecil adalah rambut. Rambut yg dulu selalu effortlessly lebat, lurus, tebal dan dipuji banyak org termasuk mbak2 salon. Rambut yg gak pernah berani gw macem2in termasuk pakai hair dryer, catok, atau pewarna... sekarang bermasalah dan mengharuskan gw untuk prp 5 sesi. Bayangin masih ada 4 sesi lagi coy???? Ya Allah beneran se sakit itu. Ga nyangka. Apa kurang lama td dioles krim anestesinya? Semoga ikhtiar ini berhasil, dan gw semangat dtg ke sesi selanjutnya (ya harus semangatlah orang udh bayar lunas)
Pas pulang dpt kabar papa masuk RS dan lg di luar kota. Dengan kepala yg masih nyeri dan kabar tsb tentu bikin gw ga bisa tidur semaleman. Hiks, untung papa lagi ditemenin adek, jd diurusin adek. Kondisinya alhamdulillah stabil. Semoga stabil terus :'(
Aku memutuskan untuk cuti krn lemas.
24/08/2023
ya Allah suka aneh ya aku tuh, dari pertama minta selalu dikasih ketenangan sama Allah, giliran udah selalu tenang dan cool down menghadapi hal apapun (terutama ini) malah mempertanyakan ketenangan tsb. Emang harusnya "Alhamdulillah" dan "yaudah" adlh moto hidupku (??)
21/08/2023
wake up wake up! Sadaaaar! udah dong capek aja, udah dong nyerah aja, kenapa harus tenang banget menghadapi hal yang gak mungkin, hal yg bahkan wujud dan suaranya aja lo gatau? Ada dan tiada jg lo ga tau? Tertarik sama lo jg boro-boro (masih swipe here and there jg dianya). Kenapa sih malika? Kok gila ya bisa jadi orang se "gapapa" ini? Kerasukan apaa gw tanya sekarang. Jawaab???Dear Lucy, now I know how crazy your feelings was to Schroader *sigh
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