About Love (part 2)

In novels or movies, it is shown that there is something romantic about fighting for someone and winning their love back. But at this age, I have learned that there is nothing beautiful about continuously convincing someone to feel the same way toward us. Love, particularly, should be mutual, a natural connection where your soul is able to recognize a home in another.

 

This year taught me not only about embracing my feelings but also about acceptance. I would never fight for someone to like me; I'm not orchestrating anything to happen; I never ask more than I should; I always keep my personal thoughts and feelings, my happiness, my excitement, and sometimes my confusions here, because we agree to keep things at a "no feelings attached" level, so I won't let anyone, especially that person, know it. I manage my expectations quite well. I kinda enjoy things as they are. I believe I've done what I should've done. But sadly, it isn't enough. Morover, I need to accept that despite all the 'normal' things I've done, he still chose to hate me. I need to accept the fact that it might be my disappearance that he is been wanting.

 

Praying is another level of showing love that I thought would never go to for someone strange that I barely knew. I can do nothing other than thank Allah for the chance of meeting the man of my dreams. Every day I humbly asking Him to keep that person safe and taken care of. It was beautiful for me because it brought me peace and a sense of letting go so that I knew I won't lose anything even when I literally would lose that person. 

 

My dearest random readers, what have I done wrong to deserve being blocked on a platform we didn't even connect to? (rethorical question). Well, it's okay, I'm a human, and I accept myself for being sad today. Good night!