You met the man of your dreams, then what? (a self reminder)

I was excited about someone. Right after those first conversations, I dive in head first, effortlessly. That is when I met the man of my dreams. The strangest one but feels familiar.

When we really want to find love and we suddenly meet someone who seems to epitomize everything we've been looking for, maybe we've decided based on this person's qualities, characteristics, what they look like, how they act, what they are doing in life, etc. then it's like ;

 "This is the love we've been looking for; he's representing the hope I've been longing for,"  and all of a sudden there was nothing more important in the world than securing this person.

At first, I felt relieved that I had finally found the person. But the next second, it became anxious. Yes, I wanted to get closer and turn it into something lasting, but I felt that person was out of reach, and I'm not sure how he felt about me. So the first thing I had to do was secure my relationship with Allah. I wrote Him a letter about how I feel and wake up every night to talk talk to Him. I'm not asking Him to make that person mine but to ease my heart, remove my worries, and lead me in the right direction instead. Because without His help, I would be doing the wrong things; making this person the focus of all my attention.

Then I realized that, when we find something we really want—in this case, "the man of my dreams"—what I have to do is gain more ground in the other meaningful areas of my life. The first and most important is my Imaan, then my family, friends, hobbies, passions, all the things I love to do, the things I love to learn about, and everything that gives me strength, confidence, hope, purpose, and love of life. Those things will bring a sense of perspective in my life where I go, "Oh, of course I would love for this person to reciprocate and I'd love for it to go somewhere, but when it doesn't, I have a 'rich' life and those things are incredibly important to me and I have those to fall back on." So when it doesn't work out with that person, I'll be good. I don't need to beg or try harder than I should. ' I don't need to keep chasing you. I'm just going to give you my best, and if that's not enough for you and you don't give me enough, then I don't need this.'  Because someone doesn't become more attracted to us or want us more simply because we're trying harder.

Just because someone impressive comes into my life doesn't mean my worth, my world, or my life aren't important. It doesn't matter if he achieved more than me externally, or whatever it may be, I need to have enough confidence to know that I can leave or say no at any point if this person isn't right for me, if he treats me the way I don't want to be treated, or if this person isn't giving me enough energy to keep going.

Dear myself, or whoever reads this post:

Invest in yourself because people come and go.

We know that not being chosen hurts, especially by someone we wanted, someone we chose, someone we saw a future with, someone with whom we believed to have a really strong connection. So we need a lot of strength to have the ability to let go of the burning desire to know why and to let go of what is not meant to be. To be Tawakkul and trust His timing.