Sincerely, Malika.

Kalau ada gelar untuk seorang Malika dari SMP sampai sekarang (gak terlalu sih sekarang mah) adalah konsultan skincare. Gak lebay gak peres tapi without even trying or showing off gue sering banget jadi trendsetter dan konselor terkait hal tsb. Padahal gue gak membranding diri seperti itu loh, pokoknya terjadi natural begitu saja. Sayang sih ga diseriusin, kalo diseriusin gue mungkin skrg jadi selebgram atau tiktokers atau beauty blogger legend wkwk. Maklum, dulu belum banyak edukasi atau konten-konten tentang beauty, kalo sekarang sih BANYAK BANGET tapi terkadang misleading, overclaim atau terlalu shallow. Saking banyaknya informasi, produk baru, iklan, endorsement, dll ga heran banyak anak-anak terutama remaja ke atas bingung harus mulai darimana. Kalo untuk gue, semakin banyak ilmu yang gue pelajari, semakin gue males menjawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan dasar terkait skincare ini😂 Kalau jaman dulu, bisa loh tiba-tiba orang yang gak pernah komunikasi intens (misalnya teman yang sekadar ...

In novels or movies, it is shown that there is something romantic about fighting for someone and winning their love back. But at this age, I have learned that there is nothing beautiful about continuously convincing someone to feel the same way toward us. Love, particularly, should be mutual, a natural connection where your soul is able to recognize a home in another.   This year taught me not only about embracing my feelings but also about acceptance. I would never fight for someone to like me; I'm not orchestrating anything to happen; I never ask more than I should; I always keep my personal thoughts and feelings, my happiness, my excitement, and sometimes my confusions here, because we agree to keep things at a "no feelings attached" level, so I won't let anyone, especially that person, know it. I manage my expectations quite well. I kinda enjoy things as they are. I believe I've done what I should've done. But sadly, it isn't enough. Morover, I need ...

Dari sekian tren perawatan estetika yang ada, yang paling ga menarik buat saya adalah PRP ( platelet rich plasma ). Selain karena keliatan menyeramkan (berdarah-darah), saya juga merasa engga butuh prosedur tersebut karena yang saya tau, PRP lebih disarankan pada kasus kulit yang memiliki bopeng/bekas luka atrofi. sementara, tekstur kulit saya cukup baik selama ini. Sampai pada akhirnya saya mengalami suatu kondisi yang disebut alopecia areata/bald patches Apakah alopecia areata tersebut berbahaya? Jawabannya engga. Apakah mengganggu secera estetika? Sebenarnya juga enggak terlalu ya karena saya pakai jilbab sehari-hari, dan sebenarnya area 'botak' nya enggak keliatan kecuali saya menyibak rambut dengan sengaja. Tapi karena saya takut suatu hari muncul area alopecia yg lain, saya memutuskan untuk mencari advice dokter, harapannya minmal dapat resep obat oles atau oral saja. Ilustrasi: sumber google images (bukan foto pribadi)  Saya memutuskan untuk konsultasi ke do...

Pendahuluan Seisi blog ini dan draft -nya ternyata saksi perkembangan (terutama emosional) gue selama 10 tahun terakhir, alias blog ini seringkali jadi tempat sampah dan cuma didatengin ketika mau 'nyampah' 😂 Baca tulisan dan draft yang lalu-lalu bikin mikir "ini lo kenapa sih sampe nulis kaya gini?" "ini ngomongin apa sih?" atau "alay banget, dramaaa"😂 Pada akhirnya tetap menghibur diri sih, "ga apa-apa artinya gue berkembang ke arah yang lebih baik (semoga)".  Udah seharusnya banyak post yang di- revert to draft  saking memalukannya hahaha. Tapi jadi mikir, sayang juga ya banyak hal yang udah terjadi tapi ga sempet ditulis di sini, walaupun aneh, yaa lucu aja sih kalo dibaca sendiri (note: draft aja ga usah publish) . Semoga tahun ini ada post lagi yang bermanfaat dan engga memalukan untuk dibaca diri sendiri maupun keturunan gue (lah gimana sih hahah). Berharap juga bisa nulis section beauty lagi, semoga bisa rajin yaa, aamiin. Oke,...

For years, I devoted myself to longing. I long for a reply to a text message, for a good night text after a hard day, or for a man that I like to look at me in a certain way. If I were in a relationship, I would want it to last forever. I felt like my journey of waiting should be over, and I don’t want another season of waiting. I wanted a happily ever after, just like in the princess stories I fantasize about. Forgive me for sounding cheesy, but it was longing for a connection, for true love. And in order for it to happen, I was willing to wait, no matter how long. That subtle feeling spread out into my life just like a mist that turned into fog; thus, I could not see anything clearly with it there  I used to think that love was the source of my unhappiness, but it was not. In spite of the truth of it, I was only obsessed with the idea itself. All those nights I spent asking, “Will I ever find the love of my life?” without even daring to think about what precisely it was. Furtherm...

Let me tell you 2 stories when I blamed the time.  Story 1 It was a few years ago when someone really wanted me. He even had been waiting for me to graduate from university for two years long. He made a serious effort. He loved me (at least, that's what he said), and family blessings and support were showering on us. Nothing to be worried about him superficially. Everything should run smoothly. We should be together (as everyone said).  But I made it difficult. I found no connection. Something felt wrong even though I don't know what it was . I blamed the timing , saying, "He might be the right one at the wrong time; I'm not ready yet." "I'm not ready for what he was bringing to the table." "I'm not ready yet to compromise on what he wanted from a relationship."    Story 2 I met the person who seemed to epitomize everything I've been looking for. He made me feel again. I felt the connection was strong. I trust him effortlessly; I ...

Hari ke-7 Bulan Ramadan Udah mellow aja kok tiba-tiba udah hari ke 7. Hiks ga mau cepat-cepat berlalu rasanya😢 Udah 2-3 taun ke belakang gue bahagia banget tiap momen bulan puasa, padahal dulu-dulu biasa aja dan cenderung ngeluh "laper" doang, pengen cepet-cepet lebaran pokoknya 😂  Punya privilege sekolah di sekolah islam bertahun-tahun dan besar di keluarga yang (agak) religius bikin gue tetep sadar untuk melakukan ibadah Ramadan TAPI cuma sekadar formalitas, ga nemu esensinya, maksudnya yaa malu aja gitu kalo ga ikut ngelakuin 😂 xixixi. Meskipun dulu hanya sekedar menjalankan kewajiban dan ikut-ikutan, alhamdulillah ada saatnya ternyata bisa ngerasain Ramadan Vibes sesungguhnya yang sampai ke hati.  Mau merekam kegiatan Ramadanku taun ini yaaa! sebenernya agak takut dan pesimis bisa optimal apa engga, karena baru pertama kali ya bulan puasa dengan kondisi sudah bekerja fulltime, WFO dengan office hour 😰 Tapi ternyata... ya lemes say hahaha Hari pertama entah kenapa LEME...

I was excited about someone. Right after those first conversations, I dive in head first, effortlessly. That is when I met the man of my dreams. The strangest one but feels familiar. When we really want to find love and we suddenly meet someone who seems to epitomize everything we've been looking for, maybe we've decided based on this person's qualities, characteristics, what they look like, how they act, what they are doing in life, etc. then it's like ;   "This is the love we've been looking for; he's representing the hope I've been longing for, "   and all of a sudden there was nothing more important in the world than securing this person. At first, I felt relieved that I had finally found the person. But the next second, it became anxious. Yes, I wanted to get closer and turn it into something lasting, but I felt that person was out of reach, and I'm not sure how he felt about me. So the first thing I had to do was secure my relationship wi...